


Trust and Fear

by hope-for-olicity (Jacq)



Series: Mary's Teacher [11]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Felicity as a Primary School Teacher, Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon, Oliver as a Single Parent, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 11:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12298347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacq/pseuds/hope-for-olicity
Summary: Felicity responds to Oliver's request to live together and we learn a little more about Felicity's past.





	Trust and Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This will be my entry for the Olicity Hiatus Fanfic prompt: Trust.
> 
> Thanks so much to @almondblossomme for proofing. A special thank you to @magda1102 for the amazing artwork!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the property of Arrow.

 

_ “You can tell me if this is too soon and I’ll wait but I don’t like sleeping without you. Do you think you, Mary and I can get a place together?”  _

 

Felicity jumped up from the bed like she’d been burned. “Sorry, have to run to the washroom,” she managed before rushing in and closing the door.

 

She slid down the back of the door until her butt hit the cold tile and began to try to calm herself. Oliver is not your ex-boyfriend, he’s done nothing to make you think he would hurt you. You can trust him. She was remembering all the things she was taught in therapy. Calm yourself, think about this rationally.

 

She hadn’t told Oliver about therapy, about her ex, about the fact she had been  in an abusive relationship. The logical part of her knew that it wasn’t her fault but deep down inside she wondered if she didn’t attract that kind of man.

 

Felicity really thought she was okay, she knew she should check in with her therapist as soon as things got serious with Oliver but it happened so fast and he made her forget all the bad, or maybe she forced it back. She couldn’t deny that Laurel’s alcohol addiction did stir memories but she just wanted to forget and be happy.

 

Felicity was so lost in thought she actually jumped when Oliver knocked on the door. “Hey babe, are you alright? So sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. We can forget I asked. Absolutely no problem. But can you come out here with me? I’m getting worried.”

 

She felt bad this wasn’t Oliver’s fault. She just wasn’t ready to talk about this. She slowly opened the door. “Sorry about that. Listen, I’m not feeling well. I think I’m going to head home and sleep in my own bed. It will be nice for you to have the small bed to yourself anyway.” She began to gather her things. “You did nothing wrong, Oliver. I’m just...just not feeling well.” She rushed out the door.

 

Oliver wished he could chase after her but that was currently physically impossible. He would give her the night but he really hoped he’d get the chance to explain himself tomorrow. The last thing he wanted was to lose her.

 

*****

 

The next morning Felicity called her therapist right away to book an appointment. She used to go pretty regularly and they agreed that she should come back if she met someone. Lauren and she agreed it was best to deal with things preemptively. But Oliver, he had made her feel special, not damaged. She didn’t want to remember that wasn’t the girl he saw.

 

Luckily, Lauren’s receptionist said she could fit her in the next day. Good, she would just have to avoid Oliver for one day. She knew she would feel better once she had a coping plan.

She was making her way back to her classroom after lunch when she saw Mary in the hallway.

 

“Hello, Mary! How is your day going?”

 

“Good.”

 

“I see you got lots of signatures on your cast. Looks like even more than last night.”

 

Mary looked down at it, then looked up at Felicity worried. “Daddy is still in the hospital. Is he going to be okay? Nanny and Poppy Queen say yes but…”

 

“Mary your Dad was very injured in the car accident but he seems to be healing really well. And he’s exactly where he needs to be. If anything changes the doctors and nurses will notice and he will get help right away.”

 

“Okay. Will you take me to the hospital after school?”

 

“Isn’t Nanny Queen going to take you?”

 

“Yes. But I’d like it if you took me.”

 

“I can’t go to the hospital today, honey. I have a meeting and lots of school work to do.”

 

“Oh.” Mary looked crestfallen.

 

“You better get to class.”

 

“Bye, Felicity. I miss Miss Smoak.”

 

As Mary walked away Felicity felt horrible. That girl had enough to deal with in her life without Felicity adding to the pain.

 

*****

 

The next day, Felicity left work right away and made it to her appointment.

 

“Hi Felicity, it’s nice to see you again. I have to admit, I was a surprised to see your name on my schedule after so long.”

 

“I met an amazing man and his daughter. I am in love. He asked me to move in with them. I freaked out.” The words rushed out of Felicity’s mouth before she even sat down.

 

“Okay, let’s talk about this. First, congratulations on finding love. I am so happy for you, Felicity. Do you have any reason to worry about moving in with this man?”

 

“No. No reason at all. But when I moved in with Cooper, I didn’t sense there would be an issue and now I’m all…”

 

“You’re all, what?”

 

“I’m not what Oliver thinks I am. He thinks I’m beautiful and amazing and smart. So much so that I was starting to believe him but when he finds out this…”

 

“Let’s talk about this. Do you think, Oliver, this is the new boyfriend, right?”

 

“Yes,” Felicity nodded.

 

“Do you think Oliver will think less of you because your ex-boyfriend was abusive?”

 

“Oliver is wonderful. That is why he deserves the best as does his daughter, Mary. She is wonderful too. They deserve a strong woman.”

 

“So, you no longer see yourself as a strong woman? I remember us talking about how it takes a strong woman to survive what you did and then thrive. You have been thriving, Felicity. In my eyes, you are a strong woman. What changed for you?”

 

“Nothing...nothing changed. It’s just that Oliver doesn’t know..” Felicity looked down feeling ashamed.

 

“Perhaps, you should tell him and see what he thinks. Or, if you aren’t ready to tell him, let him know you are sorting through things. Do you think that would be okay?”

 

“Yes, Oliver is wonderful. I’ve never met anyone like him. He is amazing and he has a daughter, who I just love.”

 

“It sounds like you have something good going on Felicity, when you are ready you should talk to him. I understand it may be hard to trust a new man.”

 

“No! I mean no, I trust Oliver.”

 

“Well, that’s good.”

 

“It’s me. It’s me I don’t trust.”

 

*****

 

That night, Felicity tossed and turned. She hadn’t seen Oliver in two days and she felt a literal ache for him. Plus, she felt like a horrible girlfriend for not visiting him in the hospital. Any good graces, she’d earned with his parents were probably gone.

 

She had agreed to regular appointments with Lauren until she felt like she was back on track. She really had no idea, why moving in together was a trigger, although as Lauren pointed out the physical abuse with Copper didn’t begin until after they lived together. Prior to that, it was verbal and controlling. Felicity excused it as having a very possessive boyfriend.

 

But Oliver wasn’t controlling. She’d never felt threatened. She felt loved, cared for and worshipped. She wasn’t being fair to him and he was trapped in a hospital bed.

 

That’s it she thought. I have to go to him. I can’t wait one second more. She quickly got out of bed put on some comfy clothes and headed to the hospital. It was way past visiting hours but she was hoping that would be overlooked again.

 

*****

 

Felicity opened Oliver’s hospital door quietly in case he was sleeping. He wasn’t. He turned and looked at her as soon as she walked in. “Felicity.” 

 

“I’m so sorry, Oliver. I think we need to talk.”

 

Oliver patted the bed next to him for her to sit. He was so relieved to see her and yet terrified she was coming to break up with him. If only he could take it back. Why did he have to be so pushy?! “You don’t have any reason to be sorry, Felicity. I’m the one who pushed. I am sorry. I missed you so much. Just tell me how to make it up to you and I will. I’ll do anything.” He looked at her pleadingly.

 

“Oliver, you did nothing wrong. In fact, you tend to do everything right which is why I fell in love with you. When I said, I wasn’t leaving you, I meant it and then I bolted. I can only imagine how confusing that was for you. I never intended to confuse you and I’d like to explain or try to explain...if you don’t mind.”

 

“Felicity,” Oliver took her hand and rubbed circles of reassurance over her knuckles. “You look terrified. Whatever it is, please know you don’t have to tell me. I trust you. You can tell me if and when you are ready ”

 

“See, you are so amazing,” she wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek. “I trust you too, Oliver. It’s me, that I struggle with trusting and I’d like to tell you why.”  Felicity went on to explain her relationship with her college boyfriend Cooper, how he was controlling and jealous. But he was her first real boyfriend and she liked that he cared so much about her. As she talked, Oliver rubbed her knuckles but she could sense him tensing. She told him how she moved in with Cooper in her third year and that’s when it started to become physical. He hit her once when he was drunk but he was really sorry and swore it wouldn’t happen again. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. But then he’d seen her with one of her male classmates and accused Felicity of cheating, he pushed her down the stairs, she broke her arm and collarbone and she had a concussion. She had to stay in the hospital. It was then that she realized she was scared at home and didn’t want to go there anymore. She moved out, pressed charges, got a restraining order and picked up the pieces of her life. She began seeing a therapist, Lauren, and she is seeing her again now.

Oliver was quiet for a moment after her confession. Felicity wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

 

Then he pulled her into his arms.

 

“Be careful of your ribs!”

 

“I don’t care about my ribs! I care about you and keeping you safe. Did I ever make you feel afraid?”

 

“No, Oliver, never. You have been nothing but wonderful. But I feel, maybe I misrepresented myself. I mean you thought I was something and it turns out I’m a girl who had a boyfriend who hurt her.”

 

“How does that reflect badly on you? Cooper is the asshole and I hope I never meet him. As for you misrepresenting yourself, not in a million years. You are a strong, kind, wonderful and brave woman and the fact that this happened and you are still you, reinforces all this. I didn’t think it was possible to love you more but I do.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really. And I also understand why moving in with anyone, including me would be scary for you. And I’m willing to wait until you ask me. Just so you know, I’ll say yes.”

 

“Oh Oliver, I love you. I was so worried.”

 

“I was just worried that I’d managed to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me, well besides Mary, of course.”

 

“Of course.” Felicity smiled and then frowned. “I think I disappointed her by not coming to visit.”

 

“Well, she did tell me you felt really bad but had too much work to do. To be honest, I think she was overcompensating hoping I wouldn’t be cross with you. She was really adorable, I love that she loves you as much I love you. I am such a lucky man.”

 

“I’m the lucky one. Can I sleep here with you tonight?”

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


End file.
